Had you driven past my house one recent Friday, you would have seen a workman on the roof, stringing Christmas lights. For reasons of safety and schedule, I decided to let someone else do the job this year.
But had you driven past my house the day after, you would have seen me up there re-doing the job.
So much for safety and schedule.
I blame my mother. Or, actually, her entire family. I was engaged in a practice I call "McKenzie-ing" the job - that is, allowing someone else to do it and then going back and doing it over again to get it right. Even if nothing much is wrong with it.
And all in spite of the fact that the workman was sent to the job with explicit instructions, written on yellow legal paper, with visual aids including charts, graphs, and photos, along with numerous verbal hints called up from the sidewalk. That's also very McKenzie, by the way.
Now, please understand, I am not proud of this. In going all McKenzie on the job, I violated a very solemn promise I made to myself almost daily during kidhood: I am not going to be like my mother when I grow up.
My brother and sisters made the same promise. Not one of us could run a vacuum cleaner to her satisfaction. Neither could we dust, do dishes, wash windows, or take out trash to her specifications. I never weeded a row in the garden that did not cause my mother to throw her hands up into the air, exclaim that I hadn't paid attention AGAIN, take over the chore, and launch into her speech about doing things right with its legendary opening line, "I have TOLD you and TOLD you ..."
We'll not even talk about big jobs like plowing a straight furrow.
The gist of the speech was this: There are three ways to do things: The wrong way; the right way (also wrong); and the McKenzie way, which is to say perfectly, a quality unattainable for non-McKenzies and other mere mortals, such as me and a good many of my cousins.
According to the legend, to be a McKenzie of Mom's generation was to be a model child, well-behaved, a tireless worker and supremely talented at whatever endeavor you chose. To be a McKenzie of my generation was to be a disappointment to your grandparents.
(Of course, you have to wonder how such brilliant people as my mother and her siblings could raise such a crop of dunderheads. You would be advised, however, to keep that thought to yourself, as I found out last family reunion.)
But as I've gotten older, I have found that I McKenzify things without even thinking. I've been known to remake a bed three times to get the corners just right. I've never worn a necktie I didn't re-tie at least twice. I once rebuilt four garden boxes at 5 a.m. because I'd awakened from a dream in which six of my uncles came by the house and pointed out the flaws.
And that, my friends, is why I was out on the roof re-stringing the Christmas lights. I'm listening to my McKenzie side. And apparently, lights aren't the only thing I need help with.
Maybe I should just listen to my Redmond side. That's the one that tells me and tells me that they sure look pretty.
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
It sounds like the plot from a dystopian libertarian novel. The word “patriot” and the phrase “educating on the Constitution and Bill of Rights” triggered heightened scrutiny from the most intrusive agency in the federal government.
The action at the bird feeder has been spectacular lately: Cardinals, finches, songbirds in impressive variety crowding around all day long in search of sustenance. It is truly gratifying …
Everyone presumes that Sen. Chuck Schumer, the media-hungry Democrat from New York, wants to be the next Senate majority leader. His performance in the negotiations over the Gang of Eight immigration plan should bolster his case for an eventual promotion.
Someone had to take the fall for President Barack Obama thoughtlessly drawing a “red line” threatening serious consequences if Syria used chemical weapons. It turns out that it is the president himself.
There were other issues that had potentially greater financial impact or will leave a more resolute imprint on people’s lives, such as Medicaid expansion and Common Core.
Oregon and Idaho each had to shut down three water gauges due to automatic budget cuts, known as sequestration. Watch how Idaho relies on these water gauges, from tracking drought conditions to determining stream levels for salmon.
Oregon and Idaho each had to shut down three water gauges due to automatic budget cuts, known as sequestration. Watch how Idaho relies on these water gauges, from tracking drought conditions to determining stream levels for salmon.
Commentary
Discussion
Lighting up the holidays
By Mike Redmond CNHI
Had you driven past my house one recent Friday, you would have seen a workman on the roof, stringing Christmas lights. For reasons of safety and schedule, I decided to let someone else do the job this year.
But had you driven past my house the day after, you would have seen me up there re-doing the job.
So much for safety and schedule.
I blame my mother. Or, actually, her entire family. I was engaged in a practice I call "McKenzie-ing" the job - that is, allowing someone else to do it and then going back and doing it over again to get it right. Even if nothing much is wrong with it.
And all in spite of the fact that the workman was sent to the job with explicit instructions, written on yellow legal paper, with visual aids including charts, graphs, and photos, along with numerous verbal hints called up from the sidewalk. That's also very McKenzie, by the way.
Now, please understand, I am not proud of this. In going all McKenzie on the job, I violated a very solemn promise I made to myself almost daily during kidhood: I am not going to be like my mother when I grow up.
My brother and sisters made the same promise. Not one of us could run a vacuum cleaner to her satisfaction. Neither could we dust, do dishes, wash windows, or take out trash to her specifications. I never weeded a row in the garden that did not cause my mother to throw her hands up into the air, exclaim that I hadn't paid attention AGAIN, take over the chore, and launch into her speech about doing things right with its legendary opening line, "I have TOLD you and TOLD you ..."
We'll not even talk about big jobs like plowing a straight furrow.
The gist of the speech was this: There are three ways to do things: The wrong way; the right way (also wrong); and the McKenzie way, which is to say perfectly, a quality unattainable for non-McKenzies and other mere mortals, such as me and a good many of my cousins.
According to the legend, to be a McKenzie of Mom's generation was to be a model child, well-behaved, a tireless worker and supremely talented at whatever endeavor you chose. To be a McKenzie of my generation was to be a disappointment to your grandparents.
(Of course, you have to wonder how such brilliant people as my mother and her siblings could raise such a crop of dunderheads. You would be advised, however, to keep that thought to yourself, as I found out last family reunion.)
But as I've gotten older, I have found that I McKenzify things without even thinking. I've been known to remake a bed three times to get the corners just right. I've never worn a necktie I didn't re-tie at least twice. I once rebuilt four garden boxes at 5 a.m. because I'd awakened from a dream in which six of my uncles came by the house and pointed out the flaws.
And that, my friends, is why I was out on the roof re-stringing the Christmas lights. I'm listening to my McKenzie side. And apparently, lights aren't the only thing I need help with.
Maybe I should just listen to my Redmond side. That's the one that tells me and tells me that they sure look pretty.
© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
May 17, 2013
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
May 17, 2013
The federal government recently announced new regulations for buying fast food.
May 17, 2013
It sounds like the plot from a dystopian libertarian novel. The word “patriot” and the phrase “educating on the Constitution and Bill of Rights” triggered heightened scrutiny from the most intrusive agency in the federal government.
May 17, 2013
The action at the bird feeder has been spectacular lately: Cardinals, finches, songbirds in impressive variety crowding around all day long in search of sustenance. It is truly gratifying …
For my neighbor.
That’s what it’s like at his feeder.
May 14, 2013
On April 27, Dr. Jeff Butts demonstrated a rare form of servant leadership as he participated in the Go Love Indy westside service project.
May 13, 2013
Everyone presumes that Sen. Chuck Schumer, the media-hungry Democrat from New York, wants to be the next Senate majority leader. His performance in the negotiations over the Gang of Eight immigration plan should bolster his case for an eventual promotion.
May 13, 2013
Someone had to take the fall for President Barack Obama thoughtlessly drawing a “red line” threatening serious consequences if Syria used chemical weapons. It turns out that it is the president himself.
May 13, 2013
There were other issues that had potentially greater financial impact or will leave a more resolute imprint on people’s lives, such as Medicaid expansion and Common Core.
May 13, 2013
It happens every year at this time; I make a little dandelion whine. So here goes.
May 10, 2013
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Government
Oregon and Idaho each had to shut down three water gauges due to automatic budget cuts, known as sequestration. Watch how Idaho relies on these water gauges, from tracking drought conditions to determining stream levels for salmon.
May 15, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
When it comes to midsized family sedans, the Kia Optima ranks high on my list for its good looks, economy and value.
May 17, 2013 1 Photo
Oregon and Idaho each had to shut down three water gauges due to automatic budget cuts, known as sequestration. Watch how Idaho relies on these water gauges, from tracking drought conditions to determining stream levels for salmon.
May 15, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
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