Had an unusual encounter with a panhandler the other day, and in my neighborhood, that is saying something.
We get a lot of panhandling here. Business is so good they come right up to the front door sometimes, saving me the trouble of running into them on the street. People have told me they do this because they've made some sort of secret mark around my house, indicating that I am a sucker. I know this to be untrue because:
1. I've looked. No mark.
2. I am no sucker, as you shall see.
My favorite panhandlers are the ones with elaborate story details about why they are asking me to dig into my wallet and hand over my allowance.
The most common ones involve needing diapers for a baby daughter - never a son - or a pound of hamburger for their kids.
I find if I just let the panhandler keep talking, the story gets more and more interesting, invariably winding up with the fact that he (never she) hopes I don't hold it against him, but he just got out of prison and he's learned his lesson but nobody will hire him and he's desperate. The last part strikes me as being the most truthful, although I think his desperation has something to do with the liquor store around the corner or, as I like to call it, the Community Center.
In the past, I used to keep a package of disposable diapers and a pound of hamburger ready, and upon hearing these stories would offer them. For some reason, no panhandler ever accepted. They were always the wrong kind of diaper, and they didn't want to feed their children meat from a strange source.
Now I just say "I've heard this one before" and pretend to not have control of my dog.
My favorite is the story you get in parking lots about having run out of gas and needing money to attend a funeral in Anderson. And it's always Anderson. You'd think someone would shake it up by having a dead relative in Kokomo or Logansport, but nope. All the dead relatives are in Anderson, waiting to be sent off into the next life as soon as their nieces and nephews get a tank full of gas.
I once heard this one three times in one day by three different people in three different parking lots. And I also heard it twice in one day, in parking lots several miles from one another, from the same person.
In retrospect, I should have given them all a little money. You usually have to pay quite a bit for this much entertainment.
Which gets me to my recent encounter. I was leaving the grocery when a guy approached. I expected a story, or at least the old "Can you spare some change?" come-on. Instead, I got: "Hey, man, you wouldn't have a 20-dollar bill, would you?"
I have to admit I was stunned for a moment. I'm used to being asked for a quarter, and here was this panhandler wanting 20 bucks. I'll give the guy this: He had brass.
But so do I.
So when he asked if I had a 20-dollar bill, I smiled and said: "I sure do."
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
Commentary
Discussion
Looking for a handout?
By Mike Redmond CNHI
Had an unusual encounter with a panhandler the other day, and in my neighborhood, that is saying something.
We get a lot of panhandling here. Business is so good they come right up to the front door sometimes, saving me the trouble of running into them on the street. People have told me they do this because they've made some sort of secret mark around my house, indicating that I am a sucker. I know this to be untrue because:
1. I've looked. No mark.
2. I am no sucker, as you shall see.
My favorite panhandlers are the ones with elaborate story details about why they are asking me to dig into my wallet and hand over my allowance.
The most common ones involve needing diapers for a baby daughter - never a son - or a pound of hamburger for their kids.
I find if I just let the panhandler keep talking, the story gets more and more interesting, invariably winding up with the fact that he (never she) hopes I don't hold it against him, but he just got out of prison and he's learned his lesson but nobody will hire him and he's desperate. The last part strikes me as being the most truthful, although I think his desperation has something to do with the liquor store around the corner or, as I like to call it, the Community Center.
In the past, I used to keep a package of disposable diapers and a pound of hamburger ready, and upon hearing these stories would offer them. For some reason, no panhandler ever accepted. They were always the wrong kind of diaper, and they didn't want to feed their children meat from a strange source.
Now I just say "I've heard this one before" and pretend to not have control of my dog.
My favorite is the story you get in parking lots about having run out of gas and needing money to attend a funeral in Anderson. And it's always Anderson. You'd think someone would shake it up by having a dead relative in Kokomo or Logansport, but nope. All the dead relatives are in Anderson, waiting to be sent off into the next life as soon as their nieces and nephews get a tank full of gas.
I once heard this one three times in one day by three different people in three different parking lots. And I also heard it twice in one day, in parking lots several miles from one another, from the same person.
In retrospect, I should have given them all a little money. You usually have to pay quite a bit for this much entertainment.
Which gets me to my recent encounter. I was leaving the grocery when a guy approached. I expected a story, or at least the old "Can you spare some change?" come-on. Instead, I got: "Hey, man, you wouldn't have a 20-dollar bill, would you?"
I have to admit I was stunned for a moment. I'm used to being asked for a quarter, and here was this panhandler wanting 20 bucks. I'll give the guy this: He had brass.
But so do I.
So when he asked if I had a 20-dollar bill, I smiled and said: "I sure do."
Then I got in my truck and drove away.
Poor guy. He should have asked for hamburger.
© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
Will the current V.A. backlog on veterans’ compensation claims be the next scandal to hit the administration?
Currently, the backlog is at 865,000 plus compensation claims with a wait time of greater than 125 days.
June 18, 2013
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
June 18, 2013
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
June 14, 2013
As a Christian, I feel compelled to respond to a recent letter to the editor.
June 14, 2013
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
June 14, 2013
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
June 11, 2013
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
June 11, 2013
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
June 11, 2013
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
June 7, 2013
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
June 7, 2013
Follow me on Twitter
Is Eric Snowden a traitor or patriot?
Tires
Telecommunications
Beauty Salons
Government
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
General Keith Alexander says two recently disclosed surveillance programs on international communications are critical in the terrorism fight.
June 18, 2013 1 Photo
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