By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Jan 08, 2013, 03:23 PM EST
Well, I don't know about you, but for my money, 12-21-12 was about the lamest apocalypse I've ever seen. Phooey.
And so the Mayan Calendar myth goes onto the trash heap with all the other end of times Cassandragrams, and I'm not just talking about those e-mails you got before the election. How about that Harold Camping yahoo from a couple of years back, the guy who twice predicted the exact date and time of the Rapture: Once when he said it was going to happen, and then again when he said it was really going to happen after his first prediction flopped.
But that was the work of an apocalyptic nutball preacher in 2010. Nobody really took it seriously because there simply was no reason to. Unlike 2012, when the doomsday prediction was built on the solid foundations of an ancient race with a religion based on human sacrifice.
In other words: Sheesh. Really, people? They closed schools in Michigan for this?
The one thing you can say for the 12-21-12 nonsense is that it was a modestly amusing diversion from a stretch of pretty bleak news and nobody with a brain larger than a walnut took it seriously. This did not, however, stop a proliferation of theories as to what was supposed to happen on that fateful Friday because, as we all know, about a third of the people on this planet are Walnut Brains.
Here are my favorites:
1. Earth was supposed to collide with an asteroid and Bruce Willis was not able to save us like he did in "Armageddon."
2. A strange magnetic vibration was supposed to trigger the pineal glands of every human on earth - all 7 billion of us - to release a hallucinogen, causing a worldwide psychedelic trip. Which would have been groovy, man.
3. Atlantis was supposed to rise. Presumably bringing Aquaman (the lamest superhero ever) with it.
4. The planet was supposed to be consumed by fires or floods or both, which would have been a neat trick.
5. Aliens were supposed to return to pick up those of us who had been properly selected, and no, you were not among them.
Or everything on the planet, from computers to can openers, would stop working, government and financial systems would collapse, and the Apocalypse would be upon us. In other words, the manure would strike the air conditioner.
None of which, you'll recall, seemed to happen.
With all that kind of excitement at stake, I imagine there were a lot of disappointed 12-21-12 disaster predictors who woke up very disappointed on 12-22.
You have to wonder what drives people like that. I suppose it could be just a generalized sort of fear. There are lots of people who exist in a constant state of dread, skulking through their lives, glancing nervously upward as they wait for someone to drop a piano on them.
And there are those who find today's belief systems entirely too cheerful, optimistic, and empowering, and so go looking for something that is (a.) out of their hands and (b.) going to wipe us out at any moment. Although you certainly don't have to use the Mayan calendar for that, as long as we have TV preachers.
Or maybe some people are just morons. See above under "Walnut Brains." Or, as I also like to call them, Aquaman fans.
© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
I am writing this letter to thank and to acknowledge the great and swift job that the Wayne Township Fire Department did, as well as the ambulance, in responding to a medical emergency in our household on May 15.
May 23, 2013
It is worth mentioning that more Americans were killed by the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, last Sept. 11, than were killed by the recent terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon.
I hate dog movies. In dog movies, the good, loyal, lovable dog always dies at the end and I end up sitting there in the dark with big tears streaming down my cheeks.
May 21, 2013
Mr. President, the buck stops with you.
President Truman set that standard, with these very words posted on a sign on his Oval Office desk.
But now, with over a thousand days left in this second Obama administration, we find a Nixonian stench emerging from the “W. House.”
Rarely has the White House briefing room so resembled the main ballroom at a meeting of the Conservative Political Action Conference.
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
May 17, 2013
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
The federal government recently announced new regulations for buying fast food.
It sounds like the plot from a dystopian libertarian novel. The word “patriot” and the phrase “educating on the Constitution and Bill of Rights” triggered heightened scrutiny from the most intrusive agency in the federal government.
The action at the bird feeder has been spectacular lately: Cardinals, finches, songbirds in impressive variety crowding around all day long in search of sustenance. It is truly gratifying …
For my neighbor.
That’s what it’s like at his feeder.
May 14, 2013
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs Part V: The Big One
Grilling is a simple way to feed your family well this summer. Start with a lean meat and a healthful marinade and then allow the grill to strip away additional fat for a heart-healthy and waist-friendly final result. Plus, grilling caramelizes the natural sugars in foods, which adds flavor without additional calories and fat.
May 24, 2013
© 2013 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. ·
CNHI Classified Advertising Network ·
CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2013. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require
you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Terms and Conditions
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN
8109 Kingston St., Suite 500