During this month of thankfulness, I have decided to count my blessings each and every week in this column. This week: I am thankful that my house does not smell like dirty sushi in a funeral home. I guess I should explain this one.
Every morning as my daughters get ready for school I notice a shift in the atmosphere. First there are the shampoos, the conditioners, and the shower gels. Each has been carefully chosen based on its scent. There are mangos, oranges, strawberries, raspberries, coconuts, cinnamon, and vanilla scents wafting through the air at shower time. I'm really not sure if they are showering or making fruit salad in there.
Next come the deodorants and perfumes, also chosen based on scent. Now they are planting a flower garden. Roses, lavender, and jasmine begin to mix with the fruit salad making me think that Martha Stewart must have broken into the house and started prepping for a luncheon. A pink cloud begins to form in the house. Any moment I'm sure it will begin raining lilies and melon balls. Either that or my chest will seize and I will mercifully pass out right before my sinuses explode.
Still, it could be worse. I recently discovered there is a new array of scents taking the market by storm that are a little more unique than the usual floral and fruity scents you find in the usual bath and body aisles.
Imagine if a Japanese chef, an undertaker, and a farmer developed a line of bath and body products. If they did, they would no doubt sell it to the Demeter Fragrance Library who has cornered the market on "unique" scents. Included in their fragrance library are such charming scents as sushi, crayon, funeral home, clean windows, mildew, turpentine ,and dirt. Yes, I said dirt.
I can't imagine the thought process behind creating these scents. What would possess someone to name a fragrance "sushi"? Even if the nasty thing smelled like sushi, why would you advertise it? More importantly, why on earth would anyone buy it?
And dirt? Why dirt? According to the description, "Demeter's Dirt was made to smell exactly like the dirt from the fields around the Pennsylvania family farm belonging to our founding perfumer." That's their selling technique? That's supposed to inspire someone to spend $39.50 for their product?
That's right, 4 ounces of this smelly stuff costs $39.50. Sound like a bargain? If so, I am concerned about you. Please consult with your therapist.
I have to admit I'm a bargain shopper. I would not pay $39.50 for any perfume, let alone something that purports to smell like a Pennsylvania farm. I've been to Pennsylvania. It's not pretty. And I grew up on a farm. It doesn't smell good.
As for the funeral home scent, all I can say is holy crap. That's it; just holy crap, because I imagine that is what it smells like. The description on that one says, "When a friend first smelled this one and exclaimed: 'it smells like my grandfather's funeral ... call it Funeral Home!' so we did." Not only is that bad grammar, it's just a bad idea.
I would ask which part of the funeral it smelled like, but I really don't want to know.
The point is, even though my girls' morning ritual makes me light-headed and will quite possibly kill me in the end, it could be so much worse.
My house smells like fruity flowers and not dirty sushi in a funeral home. And for that I am thankful.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
Commentary
Discussion
There's no sense in these scents
By Rebecca Todd CNHI
During this month of thankfulness, I have decided to count my blessings each and every week in this column. This week: I am thankful that my house does not smell like dirty sushi in a funeral home. I guess I should explain this one.
Every morning as my daughters get ready for school I notice a shift in the atmosphere. First there are the shampoos, the conditioners, and the shower gels. Each has been carefully chosen based on its scent. There are mangos, oranges, strawberries, raspberries, coconuts, cinnamon, and vanilla scents wafting through the air at shower time. I'm really not sure if they are showering or making fruit salad in there.
Next come the deodorants and perfumes, also chosen based on scent. Now they are planting a flower garden. Roses, lavender, and jasmine begin to mix with the fruit salad making me think that Martha Stewart must have broken into the house and started prepping for a luncheon. A pink cloud begins to form in the house. Any moment I'm sure it will begin raining lilies and melon balls. Either that or my chest will seize and I will mercifully pass out right before my sinuses explode.
Still, it could be worse. I recently discovered there is a new array of scents taking the market by storm that are a little more unique than the usual floral and fruity scents you find in the usual bath and body aisles.
Imagine if a Japanese chef, an undertaker, and a farmer developed a line of bath and body products. If they did, they would no doubt sell it to the Demeter Fragrance Library who has cornered the market on "unique" scents. Included in their fragrance library are such charming scents as sushi, crayon, funeral home, clean windows, mildew, turpentine ,and dirt. Yes, I said dirt.
I can't imagine the thought process behind creating these scents. What would possess someone to name a fragrance "sushi"? Even if the nasty thing smelled like sushi, why would you advertise it? More importantly, why on earth would anyone buy it?
And dirt? Why dirt? According to the description, "Demeter's Dirt was made to smell exactly like the dirt from the fields around the Pennsylvania family farm belonging to our founding perfumer." That's their selling technique? That's supposed to inspire someone to spend $39.50 for their product?
That's right, 4 ounces of this smelly stuff costs $39.50. Sound like a bargain? If so, I am concerned about you. Please consult with your therapist.
I have to admit I'm a bargain shopper. I would not pay $39.50 for any perfume, let alone something that purports to smell like a Pennsylvania farm. I've been to Pennsylvania. It's not pretty. And I grew up on a farm. It doesn't smell good.
As for the funeral home scent, all I can say is holy crap. That's it; just holy crap, because I imagine that is what it smells like. The description on that one says, "When a friend first smelled this one and exclaimed: 'it smells like my grandfather's funeral ... call it Funeral Home!' so we did." Not only is that bad grammar, it's just a bad idea.
I would ask which part of the funeral it smelled like, but I really don't want to know.
The point is, even though my girls' morning ritual makes me light-headed and will quite possibly kill me in the end, it could be so much worse.
My house smells like fruity flowers and not dirty sushi in a funeral home. And for that I am thankful.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Will the current V.A. backlog on veterans’ compensation claims be the next scandal to hit the administration?
Currently, the backlog is at 865,000 plus compensation claims with a wait time of greater than 125 days.
June 18, 2013
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
June 18, 2013
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
June 14, 2013
As a Christian, I feel compelled to respond to a recent letter to the editor.
June 14, 2013
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
June 14, 2013
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
June 11, 2013
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
June 11, 2013
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
June 11, 2013
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
June 7, 2013
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
June 7, 2013
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Is Eric Snowden a traitor or patriot?
Tires
Telecommunications
Beauty Salons
Government
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
General Keith Alexander says two recently disclosed surveillance programs on international communications are critical in the terrorism fight.
June 18, 2013 1 Photo
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