I recently played host to a large group of people (that’s “large” as in “herd”) who came to town to partake of my legendary open door policy. In other words, they needed a place to crash and I had room.
The visit served to remind me that I have no future in the hospitality industry.
I simply am not cut out for turning my abode over to strange people. And yes, I mean strange. I should know. I’m related to them.
I’m talking days on end of people wandering around the house all hours of the day and night in various states of dress, alarming the dog, terrifying the cat, playing havoc with the schedule, monopolizing the bathroom, rummaging around the kitchen, and commandeering my television set.
You know what? I think people don’t really know how to be guests anymore.
Let’s take breakfast. Getting a herd of people breakfasted and out the door is incredibly difficult when they seem to have forgotten that you live in a house, not a diner.
Example: One morning I thought it would be nice to make pancakes. I make a pretty good pancake, if I do say so myself. They also seemed the most efficient way to get everyone well-fed and ready for the day.
No such luck. You see, Ellie doesn’t like pancakes. Joanie doesn’t like pancakes unless they have blueberries in them. Frank prefers waffles. Richard never has anything but oatmeal in the morning. Dave (who is always on the lookout for new diseases so he can disprove that quack doctor who keeps saying he’s healthy) believes himself to be allergic to wheat, although he hasn’t been, and doesn’t plan to be, tested. And Marilyn just wants some juice.
Oh well. They can have coffee while I figure this out. Except that Ellie takes half-caf. Joanie’s a decaf person. Frank likes full-strength but only from Colombia. Richard likes a balance of half half-caf, half full strength. Dave thinks he’s lactose intolerant so he wants soy milk in his. Marilyn drinks tea.
Anyone for bacon? Well, at least they all agree on that one. No. But would I have any of that good sausage I had last time?
Weird. I can remember when herds of us would descend on Grandma and Grandpa McKenzie’s house. Breakfast would find a dozen or so people around the table, eating exactly the same thing: Bacon, eggs fried in the bacon grease, and toast. Orange juice for everyone. Coffee for grownups, milk for kids. And not a soul complained.
For one thing, it was good food. For another, you just didn’t DO that sort of thing. You were a guest. You minded your manners and tried not to make demands of your grandparents, lest your mother reach over and smack you one.
I’m glad people feel comfortable in my home, I really am, but come on. You want pancakes with blueberries? Make them at your house. Around here, the pancakes are plain and if you don’t like it, you can go to LePeep. Which is actually what everybody ended up doing, at my suggestion.
Hey, I guess that makes me a concierge. Maybe I have a future in hospitality after all. I’m going to have to rework that open-door policy, though. How’s this:
I have an open door. You’re free to leave at any time. PLEASE.
I'm old, white, and male. Three strikes and I'm out - disqualified, according to today's identity police, from having any legitimate opinions or making any pronouncements about race in an increasingly race-obsessed presidential campaign.
Welcome, friends! It's time once again for that fabulous game show: "App or No App!" The show where you decide if the app (short for application because that is way too long of a word) is real or not real. Today we explore the wonderful world of Facebook apps! Join us, won't you?
When it comes to the pantheon of Hoosier sports heroes - Johnny Wooden, Knute Rockne, Bob Knight, Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Rick Mount, Bobby Plump, George Gipp - the newest name will certainly be Peyton Manning.
I realize this is a sentiment usually expressed by people who wear colanders on their heads in order to keep the CIA from reading their thoughts. That, of course, is just ridiculous. The CIA does not read people's brain waves. Queen Elizabeth does.
Mitt Romney summoned all the righteous indignation he could muster after a Newt Gingrich ad called him "anti-immigrant." Romney blasted the ad shortly afterward in an interview: "It's just inappropriate."
The city where I hang my shingle, or would if I did something shingleworthy, is all abuzz with excitement over the SuperDuper Bowl, which is coming to town one of these days soon. I forget which.
Have you heard anyone say it lately? I'm guessing you have. I'm guessing everyone within a 100-mile radius of Indianapolis has heard it many times over the past month and will probably hear it a zillion times over the next week. I just hope there are no casualties.
Rich Lowry and Brian Howey have each had commentaries in the Hendricks County Flyer that were a great PR job for Gov. Mitch Daniels. However, the recent Indiana unemployment drop from 10.5 percent to 9.8 percent was probably the result of the Bush and Obama bailout of GM and Chrysler, discouraged job applicants dropping out of the labor force (100,000 manufacturing jobs were eliminated since Daniels' election and prior to the financial/banking crises in 2008), imported cheap foreign labor (some who are illegal), and the Obama stimulus ($11 million in Hendricks County instead of collecting impact fees on new development) including energy grants and tax cuts for the middle class.
Commentary
Welcome, guests; Goodbye, sanity
By Mike Redmond
I recently played host to a large group of people (that’s “large” as in “herd”) who came to town to partake of my legendary open door policy. In other words, they needed a place to crash and I had room.
The visit served to remind me that I have no future in the hospitality industry.
I simply am not cut out for turning my abode over to strange people. And yes, I mean strange. I should know. I’m related to them.
I’m talking days on end of people wandering around the house all hours of the day and night in various states of dress, alarming the dog, terrifying the cat, playing havoc with the schedule, monopolizing the bathroom, rummaging around the kitchen, and commandeering my television set.
You know what? I think people don’t really know how to be guests anymore.
Let’s take breakfast. Getting a herd of people breakfasted and out the door is incredibly difficult when they seem to have forgotten that you live in a house, not a diner.
Example: One morning I thought it would be nice to make pancakes. I make a pretty good pancake, if I do say so myself. They also seemed the most efficient way to get everyone well-fed and ready for the day.
No such luck. You see, Ellie doesn’t like pancakes. Joanie doesn’t like pancakes unless they have blueberries in them. Frank prefers waffles. Richard never has anything but oatmeal in the morning. Dave (who is always on the lookout for new diseases so he can disprove that quack doctor who keeps saying he’s healthy) believes himself to be allergic to wheat, although he hasn’t been, and doesn’t plan to be, tested. And Marilyn just wants some juice.
Oh well. They can have coffee while I figure this out. Except that Ellie takes half-caf. Joanie’s a decaf person. Frank likes full-strength but only from Colombia. Richard likes a balance of half half-caf, half full strength. Dave thinks he’s lactose intolerant so he wants soy milk in his. Marilyn drinks tea.
Anyone for bacon? Well, at least they all agree on that one. No. But would I have any of that good sausage I had last time?
Weird. I can remember when herds of us would descend on Grandma and Grandpa McKenzie’s house. Breakfast would find a dozen or so people around the table, eating exactly the same thing: Bacon, eggs fried in the bacon grease, and toast. Orange juice for everyone. Coffee for grownups, milk for kids. And not a soul complained.
For one thing, it was good food. For another, you just didn’t DO that sort of thing. You were a guest. You minded your manners and tried not to make demands of your grandparents, lest your mother reach over and smack you one.
I’m glad people feel comfortable in my home, I really am, but come on. You want pancakes with blueberries? Make them at your house. Around here, the pancakes are plain and if you don’t like it, you can go to LePeep. Which is actually what everybody ended up doing, at my suggestion.
Hey, I guess that makes me a concierge. Maybe I have a future in hospitality after all. I’m going to have to rework that open-door policy, though. How’s this:
I have an open door. You’re free to leave at any time. PLEASE.
© 2009 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
I'm old, white, and male. Three strikes and I'm out - disqualified, according to today's identity police, from having any legitimate opinions or making any pronouncements about race in an increasingly race-obsessed presidential campaign.
February 7, 2012
Welcome, friends! It's time once again for that fabulous game show: "App or No App!" The show where you decide if the app (short for application because that is way too long of a word) is real or not real. Today we explore the wonderful world of Facebook apps! Join us, won't you?
February 6, 2012
When it comes to the pantheon of Hoosier sports heroes - Johnny Wooden, Knute Rockne, Bob Knight, Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Rick Mount, Bobby Plump, George Gipp - the newest name will certainly be Peyton Manning.
February 6, 2012
You have to be careful what you say these days.
I realize this is a sentiment usually expressed by people who wear colanders on their heads in order to keep the CIA from reading their thoughts. That, of course, is just ridiculous. The CIA does not read people's brain waves. Queen Elizabeth does.
February 3, 2012
Mitt Romney summoned all the righteous indignation he could muster after a Newt Gingrich ad called him "anti-immigrant." Romney blasted the ad shortly afterward in an interview: "It's just inappropriate."
February 3, 2012
The city where I hang my shingle, or would if I did something shingleworthy, is all abuzz with excitement over the SuperDuper Bowl, which is coming to town one of these days soon. I forget which.
January 31, 2012
A man once said, "those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it."
January 31, 2012
President Barack Obama is making his re-election about raising the taxes of an Omaha billionaire who is volunteering for the honor.
January 31, 2012
"Have a super day!"
Have you heard anyone say it lately? I'm guessing you have. I'm guessing everyone within a 100-mile radius of Indianapolis has heard it many times over the past month and will probably hear it a zillion times over the next week. I just hope there are no casualties.
January 27, 2012
Rich Lowry and Brian Howey have each had commentaries in the Hendricks County Flyer that were a great PR job for Gov. Mitch Daniels. However, the recent Indiana unemployment drop from 10.5 percent to 9.8 percent was probably the result of the Bush and Obama bailout of GM and Chrysler, discouraged job applicants dropping out of the labor force (100,000 manufacturing jobs were eliminated since Daniels' election and prior to the financial/banking crises in 2008), imported cheap foreign labor (some who are illegal), and the Obama stimulus ($11 million in Hendricks County instead of collecting impact fees on new development) including energy grants and tax cuts for the middle class.
January 27, 2012
Follow me on Twitter
Has Indianapolis done a good job of hosting the Super Bowl?
Powered by Local.com
Powered by Local.com
Site Map
© 2012 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. · CNHI Classified Advertising Network · CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2012. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Privacy Policy | AP News Registry privacy policy
Advertiser Index
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN 8109 Kingston St., Suite 500 Avon, IN 46123