Saw a story the other day (in some little local supermarket handout called The New York Times) about bringing back events that have disappeared from the Olympic Games - things like softball, dueling pistol target shooting, two-handed javelin, and my personal favorite, tug-of-war.
Really. Olympic tug-of-war. It's the Times. They wouldn't make it up. That's The New York Post.
Between 1900 and 1920, the world's greatest amateur tug-of-warriors competed for the glory of Olympic gold and the chance to appear on a Wheaties box, once somebody got around to inventing Wheaties.
Unfortunately, Wheaties didn't appear until 1924 and by then, tug-of-war had been cast out of Olympus to the lowly reaches of grade-school field days, corporate team-building workshops, and Challenge of the Network Stars.
I doubt the movement to return the tug of war to the Olympian heights is going to gain much traction. It has, however, given me an idea.
It starts with this: We can't all be the regular kind of Olympic athletes. Who has the time? All that work, the practice, the training ... why, you'd have to miss an entire season of "The Bachelorette" and cut your pizza consumption by as much as a third. There's no way the average American would go in for that kind of sacrifice.
But we live in an era in which everyone is supposed to be special just for being alive and on the planet, regardless of whether they have any discernible talent or ability. As proof, I give you the cast of "Jersey Shore."
So I'm thinking: We already have an Olympics for the elite runners, jumpers, gymnasts, swimmers, and such. Why not an Olympics for the rest of us, doing the sorts of things that are more within our skill sets, which is to say easy?
Tug-of-war is just the beginning. Think of the possibilities for events in the Regular People Olympics: Potato sack races. Egg toss. Indian wrestling. Red Rover. Dodge ball. Flashlight tag. Kickball. Beanbag toss. Yahtzee. Juggling. Slapjack. Beer pong.
Of course, those are kiddie games, except maybe for the beer pong. That's more of an arrested adolescent game. Perhaps we should include some modern adult competitions, competitions based on Real Life As We Know It in 2012:
Indoor two-handed electronic device manipulation (two divisions: TV remote and smart phone).
Individual errands medley (grocery store, dry cleaners, pharmacy, post office, pick up kids from school).
Multi-tasking relay (the American working mom should be a gold-medal contender in this one).
Riding lawnmower slalom.
Individual, two-man and four-man barbeque.
Team drinking.
Cookie toss. (You could actually combine this one with team drinking for the AlcoholÊ Biathlon.)
Twenty kilometer dog walk.
Synchronized floating.
What do you think? No? I guess you're right. It would never fly. The Olympics stand for something and that something isn't floating on your back in an inflatable kiddie pool. Or, it seems, you and your teammates pulling on a rope with a bunch of other people pulling back.
But while I admire Olympic athletes for what they do, I also believe this:
Some days, most days, just getting up and living your life - your Real Life As You Know It In 2012 - is its own kind of tug-of-war, except you're not pulling the rope. You're pushing it. Life As You Know it is an Olympian challenge, you might say. And just getting through it wins the medal.
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
Commentary
Discussion
Olympics for the rest of us
By Mike Redmond CNHI
Saw a story the other day (in some little local supermarket handout called The New York Times) about bringing back events that have disappeared from the Olympic Games - things like softball, dueling pistol target shooting, two-handed javelin, and my personal favorite, tug-of-war.
Really. Olympic tug-of-war. It's the Times. They wouldn't make it up. That's The New York Post.
Between 1900 and 1920, the world's greatest amateur tug-of-warriors competed for the glory of Olympic gold and the chance to appear on a Wheaties box, once somebody got around to inventing Wheaties.
Unfortunately, Wheaties didn't appear until 1924 and by then, tug-of-war had been cast out of Olympus to the lowly reaches of grade-school field days, corporate team-building workshops, and Challenge of the Network Stars.
I doubt the movement to return the tug of war to the Olympian heights is going to gain much traction. It has, however, given me an idea.
It starts with this: We can't all be the regular kind of Olympic athletes. Who has the time? All that work, the practice, the training ... why, you'd have to miss an entire season of "The Bachelorette" and cut your pizza consumption by as much as a third. There's no way the average American would go in for that kind of sacrifice.
But we live in an era in which everyone is supposed to be special just for being alive and on the planet, regardless of whether they have any discernible talent or ability. As proof, I give you the cast of "Jersey Shore."
So I'm thinking: We already have an Olympics for the elite runners, jumpers, gymnasts, swimmers, and such. Why not an Olympics for the rest of us, doing the sorts of things that are more within our skill sets, which is to say easy?
Tug-of-war is just the beginning. Think of the possibilities for events in the Regular People Olympics: Potato sack races. Egg toss. Indian wrestling. Red Rover. Dodge ball. Flashlight tag. Kickball. Beanbag toss. Yahtzee. Juggling. Slapjack. Beer pong.
Of course, those are kiddie games, except maybe for the beer pong. That's more of an arrested adolescent game. Perhaps we should include some modern adult competitions, competitions based on Real Life As We Know It in 2012:
Indoor two-handed electronic device manipulation (two divisions: TV remote and smart phone).
Individual errands medley (grocery store, dry cleaners, pharmacy, post office, pick up kids from school).
Multi-tasking relay (the American working mom should be a gold-medal contender in this one).
Riding lawnmower slalom.
Individual, two-man and four-man barbeque.
Team drinking.
Cookie toss. (You could actually combine this one with team drinking for the AlcoholÊ Biathlon.)
Twenty kilometer dog walk.
Synchronized floating.
What do you think? No? I guess you're right. It would never fly. The Olympics stand for something and that something isn't floating on your back in an inflatable kiddie pool. Or, it seems, you and your teammates pulling on a rope with a bunch of other people pulling back.
But while I admire Olympic athletes for what they do, I also believe this:
Some days, most days, just getting up and living your life - your Real Life As You Know It In 2012 - is its own kind of tug-of-war, except you're not pulling the rope. You're pushing it. Life As You Know it is an Olympian challenge, you might say. And just getting through it wins the medal.
© 2012 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
Will the current V.A. backlog on veterans’ compensation claims be the next scandal to hit the administration?
Currently, the backlog is at 865,000 plus compensation claims with a wait time of greater than 125 days.
June 18, 2013
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
June 18, 2013
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
June 14, 2013
As a Christian, I feel compelled to respond to a recent letter to the editor.
June 14, 2013
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
June 14, 2013
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
June 11, 2013
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
June 11, 2013
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
June 11, 2013
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
June 7, 2013
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
June 7, 2013
Follow me on Twitter
Is Eric Snowden a traitor or patriot?
Tires
Telecommunications
Beauty Salons
Government
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
HBO and his managers say James Gandolfini -- best known for his role as Tony Soprano in the TV series "The Sopranos" -- has died in Italy at age 51.
June 19, 2013 1 Photo
Restaurants in avon
Tires in avon
Telecommunications in avon
Pizza Restaurants in avon
Beauty Salons in avon
Government in avon
Click for More
Powered by Local.com
Site Map
© 2013 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. · CNHI Classified Advertising Network · CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2013. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Privacy Policy | AP News Registry privacy policy
Terms and Conditions
Advertiser Index
Hendricks County Flyer, Avon, IN 8109 Kingston St., Suite 500 Avon, IN 46123