Today I got a call from the local middle school. It seems the school didn't appreciate my young, teen daughter's fashion sense. Apparently those holey jeans that are so popular with kids are not so popular with school officials. It's nice to know that my daughter is fashion conscious. And now she has her first "wardrobe malfunction" to prove it.
Alas, sometimes we have to make sacrifices for fashion.
The term "wardrobe malfunction" was coined by Janet Jackson's publicists after her costume "accidentally" revealed one of her breasts during the 2004 Super Bowl half-time show. Now it's the in thing. All the top celebrities are doing it. Studies have shown that the top phrase in Hollywood in 2012 was, "Oops, my breast just popped out."
Did you eve hear the phrase, "There's no such thing as bad publicity?" It seems some celebrities live by the idea. Take for example a certain young lady who used to have a top Disney Channel show, then tried to make it as an adult actress but started to crack under the pressure. I wouldn't want to name any names (Miley Cyrus). The young star was falling out of the limelight, so opted instead to fall out of her dress at the Grammys where she was heard to utter, "Oops, my breast just popped out." It must have gone well for her because since then, she has been falling out at every opportunity.
Here are my issues with the wardrobe malfunction: These women pay thousands of dollars for their clothing. They have famous designers making clothes just for them. They employ stylists and publicists to make them look good. They actually have people to tape their dresses to their breasts. They go to glamorous events where they know that thousands of cameras will be trained on them. Then suddenly, in the midst of a big moment, their wardrobe shifts, rips, and/or falls off.
I buy off the rack at discount prices and dress myself every day. You would think I would be the most likely to have a wardrobe malfunction, but the closest I've ever come is when a button popped off my blouse. Even then I had enough sense to carry a needle and thread with me. Never in my life have I uttered the phrase, "Oops, my breast just popped out." Call me crazy, but I'm actually kind of proud of that fact.
In the last couple of years the term "wardrobe malfunction" has expanded to not just include those "oops" moments, but to also cover things like too sheer fabrics and those unfortunate, "I'm wearing a short dress and trying to get out of a car but forgot to put on underwear photos."
Let's be honest here. This is not a wardrobe malfunction. In fact, none of the Hollywood "oops" moments are wardrobe malfunctions. These moments are all people malfunctions.
Let's face it, ladies, you A. should have worn a bra; B. should have worn underwear; and/or C. should have bought clothing that covered your body or hired people that have a clue. In short, you are a moron, as is every designer, stylist, publicist, breast taper, etc. that you have hired. Stop blaming the clothes.
And as for my daughter? The jeans are being retired. Alas, yet another fashion sacrifice.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Now that Obama has had the reins for over four years and is running amok destroying our nation, I am still confused why he was voted in for the second time.
President Barack Obama believes in the public sector. He thinks it should be made ever more expansive and entrusted with ever more complicated tasks. Its unions should be powerful. It should be hailed by all the great and good, and attract the nation’s best and brightest.
I am writing this letter to thank and to acknowledge the great and swift job that the Wayne Township Fire Department did, as well as the ambulance, in responding to a medical emergency in our household on May 15.
It is worth mentioning that more Americans were killed by the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, last Sept. 11, than were killed by the recent terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon.
I hate dog movies. In dog movies, the good, loyal, lovable dog always dies at the end and I end up sitting there in the dark with big tears streaming down my cheeks.
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
Grilling is a simple way to feed your family well this summer. Start with a lean meat and a healthful marinade and then allow the grill to strip away additional fat for a heart-healthy and waist-friendly final result. Plus, grilling caramelizes the natural sugars in foods, which adds flavor without additional calories and fat.
Commentary
Discussion
Oops, my wardrobe malfunctioned
By Rebecca Todd CNHI
Today I got a call from the local middle school. It seems the school didn't appreciate my young, teen daughter's fashion sense. Apparently those holey jeans that are so popular with kids are not so popular with school officials. It's nice to know that my daughter is fashion conscious. And now she has her first "wardrobe malfunction" to prove it.
Alas, sometimes we have to make sacrifices for fashion.
The term "wardrobe malfunction" was coined by Janet Jackson's publicists after her costume "accidentally" revealed one of her breasts during the 2004 Super Bowl half-time show. Now it's the in thing. All the top celebrities are doing it. Studies have shown that the top phrase in Hollywood in 2012 was, "Oops, my breast just popped out."
Did you eve hear the phrase, "There's no such thing as bad publicity?" It seems some celebrities live by the idea. Take for example a certain young lady who used to have a top Disney Channel show, then tried to make it as an adult actress but started to crack under the pressure. I wouldn't want to name any names (Miley Cyrus). The young star was falling out of the limelight, so opted instead to fall out of her dress at the Grammys where she was heard to utter, "Oops, my breast just popped out." It must have gone well for her because since then, she has been falling out at every opportunity.
Here are my issues with the wardrobe malfunction: These women pay thousands of dollars for their clothing. They have famous designers making clothes just for them. They employ stylists and publicists to make them look good. They actually have people to tape their dresses to their breasts. They go to glamorous events where they know that thousands of cameras will be trained on them. Then suddenly, in the midst of a big moment, their wardrobe shifts, rips, and/or falls off.
I buy off the rack at discount prices and dress myself every day. You would think I would be the most likely to have a wardrobe malfunction, but the closest I've ever come is when a button popped off my blouse. Even then I had enough sense to carry a needle and thread with me. Never in my life have I uttered the phrase, "Oops, my breast just popped out." Call me crazy, but I'm actually kind of proud of that fact.
In the last couple of years the term "wardrobe malfunction" has expanded to not just include those "oops" moments, but to also cover things like too sheer fabrics and those unfortunate, "I'm wearing a short dress and trying to get out of a car but forgot to put on underwear photos."
Let's be honest here. This is not a wardrobe malfunction. In fact, none of the Hollywood "oops" moments are wardrobe malfunctions. These moments are all people malfunctions.
Let's face it, ladies, you A. should have worn a bra; B. should have worn underwear; and/or C. should have bought clothing that covered your body or hired people that have a clue. In short, you are a moron, as is every designer, stylist, publicist, breast taper, etc. that you have hired. Stop blaming the clothes.
And as for my daughter? The jeans are being retired. Alas, yet another fashion sacrifice.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Every year you hear people saying, “If only it would get cold enough and snow enough in the winter. Then we wouldn’t have so many bugs.”
May 24, 2013
Democrats do not live the way they vote.
Now that Obama has had the reins for over four years and is running amok destroying our nation, I am still confused why he was voted in for the second time.
May 24, 2013
President Barack Obama believes in the public sector. He thinks it should be made ever more expansive and entrusted with ever more complicated tasks. Its unions should be powerful. It should be hailed by all the great and good, and attract the nation’s best and brightest.
May 24, 2013
I am writing this letter to thank and to acknowledge the great and swift job that the Wayne Township Fire Department did, as well as the ambulance, in responding to a medical emergency in our household on May 15.
May 23, 2013
It is worth mentioning that more Americans were killed by the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, last Sept. 11, than were killed by the recent terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon.
May 23, 2013
I hate dog movies. In dog movies, the good, loyal, lovable dog always dies at the end and I end up sitting there in the dark with big tears streaming down my cheeks.
May 21, 2013
Mr. President, the buck stops with you.
President Truman set that standard, with these very words posted on a sign on his Oval Office desk.
But now, with over a thousand days left in this second Obama administration, we find a Nixonian stench emerging from the “W. House.”
May 21, 2013
Rarely has the White House briefing room so resembled the main ballroom at a meeting of the Conservative Political Action Conference.
May 21, 2013
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
May 17, 2013
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
May 17, 2013
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Tires
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An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
Grilling is a simple way to feed your family well this summer. Start with a lean meat and a healthful marinade and then allow the grill to strip away additional fat for a heart-healthy and waist-friendly final result. Plus, grilling caramelizes the natural sugars in foods, which adds flavor without additional calories and fat.
May 24, 2013 1 Photo
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