By Mike Redmond
The Hendricks County Flyer
Tue Mar 19, 2013, 04:45 PM EDT
There are advantages to getting older, and I'm not just talking about reduced prices on fried chicken when you eat supper at 4:30 in the afternoon.
Chief among these advantages, in my view, is no longer having to worry because you don't understand popular culture. In fact, you can freely admit it, which I do, often. This would have been the kiss of death, popularity-wise, when I was a young man:
Mike: You know, I just don't get Roller Disco.
Mike's friends: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Roller Disco is the groovy expression of youthful exuberance combining the seductive beat of disco music and the sinewy turns of disco dancing with the athletic grace of roller skating. You are so out of touch, Mike Redmond. Ha ha ha ha ha ha some more. See you later, you jive turkey. Come on, gang - let's boogie!
Oh, how embarrassing it was. Although as you can see by the number of Roller Disco palaces around these days, I eventually came out ahead on that deal.
These days, I find myself puzzled by the popularity of zombies.
I'm an old-school monster kind of guy - love my Frankenstein, my Wolfman, my Dracula, my Mummy (because you should always love your Mummy). And I'm not talking remakes. I mean the creaky old original films from Universal Studios. Those monsters scared me when I was watching them on Sammy Terry's Nightmare Theater, and I still get a tiny thrill of terror seeing their hokey selves on DVDs.
But zombies? I just don't understand the fascination. They shuffle around with deplorable skin conditions mumbling about eating brains and destroying anyone who gets in their way.
So what? Take away the part about the brains and it's just another clearance sale.
They strike a chord with modern America, though. Maybe it's because we DO act that way at clearance sales - the old zombie metaphor for rampant consumerism. You remember. We all studied it back in junior high.
Whatever the reason, I think zombies are dumb and it doesn't bother me in the slightest to be out of step on this one.
Another good thing about getting older is you can say things that might have occurred to others who were too afraid to voice them. For example, on this whole recent horsemeat-in-the-hamburger-scandal: How come it's okay to eat Elsie the Cow and Arnold the Pig and Foghorn Leghorn, but nobody better lay a fork on Mister Ed?
Not that I'm advocating eating horsemeat. I wouldn't touch the stuff if it were the last burger on earth. I just wonder why horses get a pass while the other animals get passed around the table.
Maybe it's the cowboy thing. Maybe it's the "National Velvet'/"My Friend Flicka" thing. It does seem to be an American thing. I recall reading a study about comparing 1960s student protests in Europe with those in America. If a European policeman's mount were injured, the students didn't pay any attention. If it happened to an American police horse, however, the students became gravely concerned for the animal and the rioting calmed right down.
Oh well, like I said, I'm just asking. Which I can do, being older. And frankly, I find it way more satisfying than a leg and a thigh (chicken, not horse) with mashed potatoes in the middle of the afternoon.
Take that, you jive turkey zombies.
© 2013 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
Every year you hear people saying, “If only it would get cold enough and snow enough in the winter. Then we wouldn’t have so many bugs.”
May 24, 2013
Democrats do not live the way they vote.
Now that Obama has had the reins for over four years and is running amok destroying our nation, I am still confused why he was voted in for the second time.
President Barack Obama believes in the public sector. He thinks it should be made ever more expansive and entrusted with ever more complicated tasks. Its unions should be powerful. It should be hailed by all the great and good, and attract the nation’s best and brightest.
I am writing this letter to thank and to acknowledge the great and swift job that the Wayne Township Fire Department did, as well as the ambulance, in responding to a medical emergency in our household on May 15.
May 23, 2013
It is worth mentioning that more Americans were killed by the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, last Sept. 11, than were killed by the recent terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon.
I hate dog movies. In dog movies, the good, loyal, lovable dog always dies at the end and I end up sitting there in the dark with big tears streaming down my cheeks.
May 21, 2013
Mr. President, the buck stops with you.
President Truman set that standard, with these very words posted on a sign on his Oval Office desk.
But now, with over a thousand days left in this second Obama administration, we find a Nixonian stench emerging from the “W. House.”
Rarely has the White House briefing room so resembled the main ballroom at a meeting of the Conservative Political Action Conference.
I’ve not kept it a secret that I find people who dress their dogs in clothes to be, to put it nicely, somewhat more than just eccentric. And many friendly, helpful readers out there have not kept it a secret that they really wish I would not express my views about dogs dressed as humans.
May 17, 2013
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs Part V: The Big One
Grilling is a simple way to feed your family well this summer. Start with a lean meat and a healthful marinade and then allow the grill to strip away additional fat for a heart-healthy and waist-friendly final result. Plus, grilling caramelizes the natural sugars in foods, which adds flavor without additional calories and fat.
May 24, 2013
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