The other day in the grocery store parking lot, I overheard two women fawning over what I assumed was a small child. "Hi there, sweetheart! Aren't you sweet?" one of the women cooed.
"He's grandma's boy!" the other proudly exclaimed. I finished loading my groceries and turned to see the cute child. But it wasn't a child. It was a dog.
I have to be honest. It was very difficult to not grab a couple of canned goods out of my bag and bean the women in an attempt to knock some sense into them.
That's probably wrong, isn't it? It's just that this whole "dogs being treated like people" thing is getting out of hand. I recently wrote an article about dating sites online for pets, but now it's getting worse. There are whole product lines out there aimed at people who think their dogs are people.
For example, there's a new product on the market for those who are troubled by the fact that when they are out tying one on, Fido is left out in the cold. Never fear, party people! Now there's Bowser Beer; special brewsky for dogs. Whether you're having a party or a simple night cap, now Fido can join you! No more sad, puppy-dog eyes. Instead your wild dog will be the life of the party ... and it's only $19.99 for a six-pack! Plus tax. Void in Rhode Island. I don't know why. They're like another mini-country over there.
Here's a question: what is the drinking age for dogs? It's a little sketchy because of the whole dog years thing. I'm guessing they must be at least three because that would make Fido twenty-one in people years. But does this mean that you will have to get your dog a picture I.D.? Will they have to look at least 40 in order to not be carded? That would be six in dog years, right? It's all very confusing.
After Fido downs his $20 six-pack, he's likely to have ... how should I put this ... a bit of a disturbance in his intestines that could have undesirable side effects. Never fear, consumers! There is a product on the market that can take care of doggie flatulence. To put it bluntly, a company called Flat-D Innovations, Inc. is selling a thong for dogs, designed to make dog gas smell better. Yes, I said a thong. The "Dogone," as it is so charmingly dubbed, is an activated charcoal cloth that traps foul smelling odors. It's washable and reusable, thank goodness. Guess how much it is. Oh, come on. Just try. Yes! It is $19.99. Plus tax. Void in Rhode Island, because dog flatulence is apparently illegal in that country.
There are many more products out there, but most of them I'm not comfortable talking about. Suffice it to say that if there is a product for humans, no matter how disturbing, there is also a product for dogs. Sometimes research is not a good thing. Not sure I can get some of those images out of my mind. It almost makes you wish you lived in Rhode Island where such things never happen because everything is void.
Well, almost. Just one question: is it OK to bean crazy women with canned goods in the grocery store parking lot in Rhode Island? If so, it would be worth it.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
Commentary
Discussion
Bottoms up, Bowser - party like a human
By Rebecca Todd CNHI
The other day in the grocery store parking lot, I overheard two women fawning over what I assumed was a small child. "Hi there, sweetheart! Aren't you sweet?" one of the women cooed.
"He's grandma's boy!" the other proudly exclaimed. I finished loading my groceries and turned to see the cute child. But it wasn't a child. It was a dog.
I have to be honest. It was very difficult to not grab a couple of canned goods out of my bag and bean the women in an attempt to knock some sense into them.
That's probably wrong, isn't it? It's just that this whole "dogs being treated like people" thing is getting out of hand. I recently wrote an article about dating sites online for pets, but now it's getting worse. There are whole product lines out there aimed at people who think their dogs are people.
For example, there's a new product on the market for those who are troubled by the fact that when they are out tying one on, Fido is left out in the cold. Never fear, party people! Now there's Bowser Beer; special brewsky for dogs. Whether you're having a party or a simple night cap, now Fido can join you! No more sad, puppy-dog eyes. Instead your wild dog will be the life of the party ... and it's only $19.99 for a six-pack! Plus tax. Void in Rhode Island. I don't know why. They're like another mini-country over there.
Here's a question: what is the drinking age for dogs? It's a little sketchy because of the whole dog years thing. I'm guessing they must be at least three because that would make Fido twenty-one in people years. But does this mean that you will have to get your dog a picture I.D.? Will they have to look at least 40 in order to not be carded? That would be six in dog years, right? It's all very confusing.
After Fido downs his $20 six-pack, he's likely to have ... how should I put this ... a bit of a disturbance in his intestines that could have undesirable side effects. Never fear, consumers! There is a product on the market that can take care of doggie flatulence. To put it bluntly, a company called Flat-D Innovations, Inc. is selling a thong for dogs, designed to make dog gas smell better. Yes, I said a thong. The "Dogone," as it is so charmingly dubbed, is an activated charcoal cloth that traps foul smelling odors. It's washable and reusable, thank goodness. Guess how much it is. Oh, come on. Just try. Yes! It is $19.99. Plus tax. Void in Rhode Island, because dog flatulence is apparently illegal in that country.
There are many more products out there, but most of them I'm not comfortable talking about. Suffice it to say that if there is a product for humans, no matter how disturbing, there is also a product for dogs. Sometimes research is not a good thing. Not sure I can get some of those images out of my mind. It almost makes you wish you lived in Rhode Island where such things never happen because everything is void.
Well, almost. Just one question: is it OK to bean crazy women with canned goods in the grocery store parking lot in Rhode Island? If so, it would be worth it.
- Rebecca Todd is a freelance writer and the author of the book "What's the Point?" available at booklocker.com. Contact her at btodd@tds.net.
Will the current V.A. backlog on veterans’ compensation claims be the next scandal to hit the administration?
Currently, the backlog is at 865,000 plus compensation claims with a wait time of greater than 125 days.
June 18, 2013
Apparently, it is not enough to tolerate, accept, or even endorse the gay agenda. Now, unless you tolerate and accept criminal behavior committed by gays, you are a hater.
Believe it — that is the very public argument being made in behalf of Florida high school cheerleader Kaitlyn Hunt, 18, who faces criminal charges for having sex with a 14-year-old girl.
June 18, 2013
Word on the street and in the media is that it will be a really bad summer for mosquitoes. Or should I say, it will be a really bad summer for humans, because it will be a great year for thirsty mosquitoes.
June 14, 2013
As a Christian, I feel compelled to respond to a recent letter to the editor.
June 14, 2013
When Barack Obama announced his presidential campaign back in February 2007, he did it in front of the old Springfield, Ill., Statehouse in a speech full of references to Abraham Lincoln.
June 14, 2013
Ordinarily I don’t take requests, but a bunch of people have written to ask how I’m doing with my weight-loss surgery and I thought this might be the most efficient way to answer.
June 11, 2013
I am a grandmother who went to the Brownsburg graduation ceremony on June 7 and due to very poor planning on Brownsburg School’s part, I could not sit and watch my twin grandsons graduate in person. I was directed to an overflow room where I had to watch it on a TV screen and could not even take pictures.
June 11, 2013
What you are now hearing across the land is a collective whine. Blue-state Democrats are upset that Texas Gov. Rick Perry dares come and play in their sandboxes, and worse, threatens to “poach” jobs from their states.
The website Politico reports that Perry’s attempts to lure jobs to Texas are “infuriating to prominent Democrats around the country.”
June 11, 2013
I am the first to admit I am behind the times when it comes to technology. I remember way back in the olden days of the 1990s when I was actually ahead of the game. Now there are second-graders that are more tech savvy than me. I just decided to stop my forward technological progression a few years back.
June 7, 2013
College graduates facing a crushing debt – some more than $100,000 – is a very big and a very real problem.
But U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s recent proposal to deal with it won’t solve the problem. It is a cheap ploy to divert attention from the real problem.
June 7, 2013
Follow me on Twitter
Is Eric Snowden a traitor or patriot?
Tires
Telecommunications
Beauty Salons
Government
An NPR broadcast examines the question of how communities can better prepare for tornadoes like the one that struck Moore, Okla. on Monday. The broadcast features commentary from Michael Fitzgerald, who reported a five-part disaster series for the CNHI News Service.
May 22, 2013 1 Photo
Complete Report:
Part I: Are We Prepared? | Part II: Disaster Dollars
Part III: Lessons Learned | Part IV: Warning Signs
Part V: The Big One
General Keith Alexander says two recently disclosed surveillance programs on international communications are critical in the terrorism fight.
June 18, 2013 1 Photo
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